Being in the public eye is an ongoing educational experience. One of the very first things you learn, and perhaps one of the hardest things to learn, is that when you are in the public eye, you are not expected to have any realistic human emotional responses, a religious preference or ideal, or personal problems or opinions of any kind. If your willpower is strong enough and your desire to succeed is stronger, then this is normally something you can live with.
However, no matter how strong and silent we have learned to be, there comes a breaking point for everyone. Charlie Sheen is a good example of proof to this fact. But it doesn’t take something so extreme to spell out: “I’m tired of this. Forgive me, but I have to step out for a bit.” Sometimes it’s something as small as an extended absence from online communication. Or a hiatus from publishing books. Or maybe you just don’t answer the phone.
Recently, I was video interviewed by USA Today. In that interview, I stated that there’s very little I keep from my readers. But the truth is there may be more than I let on – for reasons you can find in paragraph one of this blog post. I try to keep things to myself. Honesty tends to turn people off, and of course I don’t want that. But honesty has an intrinsic value in that it’s honest, in and of itself.
So, here is a little honesty from me, your PNR indie author, Heather Killough-Walden: I’ve reached a breaking point. Both physically and spiritually, to tell the truth. I have a broken hand, a broken back with a spondylolisthesis that terrifies me, hypothyroidism that frustrates the crap out of me, tumors and cysts that hurt like hell, and a host of other medical and personal issues that you can find mirrored in Annabelle Drake and Logan Wright and Evelynne D’Angelo and Patrick Sinclaire’s queen. To name a few. I don’t understand why the indie publishing world does what it does, why some things sell and others don’t, why my work can sometimes be located and why it also sometimes can’t, and I’m tired of feeling baffled and hair-pulling-out confused. I’m going on two and a half years of this… or is it three?
So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to step out now. I love my readers, am more grateful to them than I can adequately state, and the last thing I wish to do is upset them, alienate them, or accidentally offend them so badly that they un-friend me and never read my work again. Which isn’t hard to do, believe me.
For that reason, I will be taking a break from Facebook, Twitter, and all online communication for the remainder of the month of July – perhaps longer. In my absence, I SINCERELY HOPE THAT MY READERS WILL ANSWER EACH OTHER’S QUESTIONS, BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND CONTINUE IN ALL OF THEIR WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE WAYS.
When I come back, I promise to be renewed, refreshed, and bearing gifts.
Otherwise, I won’t come back.
– Heather Killough-Walden