I know my mother is probably going to read this, so I may be initiating a stroke here, but the truth is, I started fantasizing about vampires and otherwise dominant men when I was nine years old. I saw the preview for The Lost Boys (classic movie) and David, Dwayne, Marco and Paul took up permanent residence in my pre-frontal cortex. If my father had known at the time, he would probably have called in the priest for an exorcism. These were vampires. They were evil. They had teeth like monsters and drank people’s blood. And to me, they represented salvation from everything I knew to be real in life.
If that sounds extreme, just pause for a moment and give it some thought. A vampire lives forever. He never grows old, he never dies, he gets to stay up all night, and sleep all day. Hell – that was the Lost Boys motto! He’s also mega-tough. There’s no picking on a vampire.
But that wasn’t the only reason I obsessed over them. I suppose I was fated to write in this genre from the very beginning, because the power of the vampire seeped into my neurons and drove me day and night. I nearly flunked out of high school because of them. I still remember the vice principal calling me out of fifth period to tell me that I had three A’s – and three F’s. Why? Because all I did during class was sit there and write. And write. And write. What about? Vampires.
I loved the way they hunted for what they wanted. I loved the determination and confidence that seemed to be inherent in a vampire’s make-up. For some reason, they were all gorgeous – tall, stark eyes, perfect features. I’m not sure when it happened or even why, but somewhere along the way, vampires became the perfect representation of everything a woman (or a nine year old girl) wants in a man.
Fortunately, I was able to pull up my grades so that I eventually graduated with three A’s and three D’s. How did I do it? By writing about vampires, for the most part. I put together a series of short “horror” stories about different blood-suckers and turned it in to one teacher. For another, I wrote a movie script about a vampire who wakes up in the forest during the day and can’t figure out why he isn’t burning to a crisp. And so forth. Vampires to the rescue once again!
The point of this blog, now that I’m finally getting to it, is that I know why vampires are so popular with women and why they always seem to top “regular” romances. It isn’t the sex women truly crave. Bear with me here. Keep reading.
What do women want in a “romance?” Well, let me run this plot line by you and see what you think….
A handsome, powerful executive one day spies a woman he is instantly drawn to. She is so alluring to him that he interrupts an important business meeting, leaving his glass-walled room so that he can get a closer look at her. She is unaware that he is watching and he can’t seem to stop. Who is she? Where did she come from? He has to know more – and he has to know now.
So Exec god uses his vast wealth and power to have her researched, followed, spied on. He learns her name, her past, and much to his patience-testing “disappointment,” he learns she is seeing someone. No matter. Mr. Boyfriend is easily taken care of.
The next day, Mr. Boyfriend’s boss assigns him to some distant location for work and the woman is once more alone. Problem solved. There’s almost nothing a good amount of money and clout won’t cure.
Exec god finally approaches the woman he is obsessing over, and she is intrigued. She can’t help it. He’s confident, he’s handsome, and he’s very obviously interested in her. But she’s dating someone, right? Even if it is long-distance and the romance was fairly new, she feels Mr. Boyfriend deserves the benefit of the doubt. So, she turns Exec god down.
Big mistake. Exec god always gets what he wants. To make matters worse, the woman is very, very smart and she somehow finds out about Exec god’s involvement in the relocation of Mr. Boyfriend. What ensues now is a power struggle of the finest degree.
Exec god refuses to back down – yes, he did something rash, but he argues that she makes him unable to think straight. She does strange things to him. He’s sorry for his earlier behavior and insists that all he wants is for her to give him a chance. But she’s mega-stubborn and her ire is up now. She can’t forgive and she refuses to bend.
So he sets out to break her instead.
Though it guilts him to do so and guilt is an emotion he’s unfamiliar with, Exec god has a “talk” with her boss and she is fired, putting her in financial straights. He has a “talk” with her landlord and she is evicted. He has a “talk” with Mr. Boyfriend and she is suddenly single. He is smart and determined and little by little, he manipulates the world around her, wearing her down. Finally, one night when she is out walking alone, his driver pulls up beside her in his slick black Lincoln Town Car. Exec god rolls down the back window and asks her to get in. What does she have to lose? All he wants to do is talk.
At last, she gets in.
Now I bet some of you are pissed at Exec god, but I also bet that some of you would like for me to finish the story. And the thing is – there was no sex in that bit at all. It was about The Chase. It was about a powerful, handsome and determined man who uses his vast intelligence and sway to “win” over the woman that has turned his world upside down. That’s what we love about vampires. They’re tougher than everyone else and they’re usually smarter than everyone else. It’s hard not to be when you live as long as they do. They’re also more determined than humans because they lead such solitary and dark lives that when they find someone who can shed light into their existences, they hang on very, very tight. Plus, they have those teeth and let’s face it, so many women are closet pseudo-masochists, aren’t we? We abhor true violence, but we love a tender pin-prick chased by an orgasm. And there’s no post-coital mess to clean up! 🙂